Uno
by duelo candy
Summary: They play seven minutes in heaven, while Gajeel is being a butt, Jellal has no soul, and Juvia decides upon revenge.
1. Chapter 1

"Lucy, Lucy, Lucy." Came the weird and annoying voice of Natsu, who sat to her left. He had been chanting her name for thirteen minutes now- basically since they started playing seven minutes in heaven, and was giving Juvia a major headache.

But really there was no point to Natsu's chanting since Mira had been orchestrating the game, and so far only couples of her choosing had been sent into that closet. It was pretty clear that if chosen, Natsu and Lucy were going to get paired up anyway.

However, despite everything that could go wrong, It was supposed to be a fun group bonding game. Or at least that's what Mira said when she commanded them to play thirteen minutes earlier, but Juvia knew that was not the case. Juvia knew Mira was a little fibber. You see ante-seven minutes in heaven Juvia overheard Levy tell Mira that she suspected Gajeel was into Juvia.

It was a stupid notion of course. Gajeel was obviously smitten with Levy, but Levy was the queen of obliviousness. Her head was constantly hidden by one book or another, so it wasn't really expected of her to notice the things that were going on around her.

Juvia came to the obvious conclusion that this entire game of seven minutes in heaven was a ploy set by Mirajane to get Levy and Gajeel together, and probably a chance for her to play matchmaker-definitely a chance for her to play matchmaker.

She looked to the side, where Elfman sat, a blushing mess. He and Evergreen had been the first two to go into the closet, and after they came out Elfman wasn't able walk properly while Ever refused to talk to anybody.

"Lucy, Lucy, _Lucy_." Natsu repeated for the four-thousand six-hundred and fourty-ninth time, while Juvia groaned but not out loud. Juvia really hoped Mira would just grant Natsu's wish already, or just shove Gajeel and Levy in the closet together so she could leave.

She glanced down to her right at Gajeel's hand, which she had squished under her own. Gajeel the selfish prick, had initially tried to evade playing the game, but Juvia firmly clamped down on his hand and pulled him down onto the beige carpet of Jellal's living room, while inadvertently trapping herself into playing the game too.

Juvia was just trying to be a bro.

Shyly, Juvia snuck a peek at Gray from underneath her lashes. Most of her friends would probably assume that she would be the first person to actually want to play seven minutes in heaven, but they would be mistaken. It's not because there wasn't anyone she liked, for Juvia liked Gray, she liked Gray a whole lot. Gray was like the sun to her, because if he was the sun then she was a flower. She needs Gray to be able to survive. Because of like photosynthesis and shit.

Everyone already knew that she liked Gray. Juvia was relatively open with the fact, but at the same time it was pretty clear that Gray didn't feel that way about her. So Juvia wasn't looking forward to entering the closet with Gray. If she was to be completely honest, Juvia would rather do without knowing Gray's reaction to playing seven minutes in heaven with _her_.

At that moment the closet door opened and Lisanna, her face as red as Juvia's favorite ruby shoes, stepped out with a dazed-but still smirking Bickslow. Juvia was sure the two of them were never going to talk to each other again. And at that moment she felt sorry for anyone related to Mirajane.

As the two of them sat down, Juvia expectantly looked over at Mirajane along with Natsu and a few others. Natsu's voice grew higher in pitch and more garbled as he creepily incanted; "Lucy, Lushy, Shlushy!" Juvia was ready to haul Natsu off to a mental institution, or perhaps Mira would pick Natsu and Lucy this time and maybe that would finally shut him and his godforsaken slogan up.

"Hmm," Mira hummed as she made a show of plucking a strip of paper from the floral hat she held in her hand…"Gajeel." She called out.

Juvia inwardly snorted, the paper strips were probably blank anyways. Mirajane was quite the fibber wasn't she.

"Aaand," Mira held the vowel, as she fished inside the botanic hat once more. "Ah Juvia!" She exclaimed.

Stunned, Juvia remained seated, wait wasn't Mirajane trying to get Gajeel and Levy together? Wasn't that the point of this whole game?

She quickly spared a glance at Levy who clenched her knuckles and looked towards the ground.

"What..wait," Juvia tried to say, brain scrambling to make sense of the situation. "Levy," she started, hoping to absolve herself, but Gajeel tugged her upwards by her forearm, cutting off her words and making the situation _much_ worse.

"C'mon sprinkler," he said, pulling her towards the closet, while a flashback of Mira Cheerily announcing that the closet conveniently had lights, popped into her head.

Juvia moved to tell Gajeel to let go of her when he leaned down and whispered " _I've got a surprise for you_ ," in her ear. Only it wasn't really a whisper, because he said it rather loudly, and everyone in the room heard what he said. "Dear lord," she even heard Erza whisper.

Juvia turned crimson from her head to her toes and then did the worst possible thing she could do. She looked at Gray…

* * *

"GODDAMN SHIT FUCK WHY THE HELL DID I DO THAT," went Juvia's internal monologue as she sank down to the floor of the closet, cradling her head. Why in the actual fuck would she look at Gray _at that fucking moment._

She looked up at Gajeel's figure as he shut the door, and cursed him for taking advantage of her embarrassment and pulling her inside the closet. Oblivious of her murder glare, he sat down in front of her and grinned wolfishly, "good thing I brought this right?" and then he _actually reached into his pants and pulled out a deck of cards._

"DID YOU JUST PULL THAT OUT OF YOUR PANTS?!" she screeched, but then immediately put her hands over her mouth, remembering that the others could hear them.

"The fuck? No!" He exclaimed indignantly, "The fuck is wrong with you? Now are we going to play or not? Seven minutes should be enough time for me to beat your ass."

And then she glared at him, not her traditional 'Ice Bitch' glare, or one of Erza's perfect 'Steel' glares. It was a new kind of glare, it was her 'You Motherfucker Just Ruined my Life and Shit all Over Levy's Feelings What Were You Thinking You Asshat I'm Going To Ruin You' glare. And in that moment she knew-Juvia knew that she was going to take him down no matter what it took. "Yes. Let's play."

* * *

"GODDAMN FUCK!" Gajeel shouted as he picked another card from the pile. Juvia would have scolded him to keep his voice down in order not to give their friends, especially Gray and Levy on the other side of the door the wrong idea of what was going on inside the closet, but she had stopped doing that a long time ago, as she too was swearing a stream of sin.

"FUCK! GAJEEL!" She howled when he hit her with a 'pick two,' "KEEP GOING YOU MOTHER FUCKER," she challenged, blinded by rage, and therefore not thinking about how their friends were responding to the phrases coming from within the closet.

"TAKE THIS!" Gajeel shouted as he laid down two skips in a row, while Juvia pounded the floor in a fury. Screaming, she pulled out her trump card and dealt him a devastating blow. "SHIT, JUVIA! FUCK!"

a moment later he recovered and seethed at her. "A 'get four'? not bad," he rasped, his breath coming out in heavy pants. "But whAT ABOUT THIS!"

A few more turns passed, obscenities were shared between them, but Juvia was finally there. One more card and she would win. She selected the blue seven she had been oh so strategically holding in such a way, so that Gajeel wouldn't see that she was only down to two cards. She was placing the card down on the pile, "Uno!" on the tip of her tongue when she saw it.

He knew. She could see it in his eyes. He knew-but he was too late. She was going to say it. _She was going to win_.

Her lips hovered on the letter U as she finally set her card down. "U-" But right as she thought victory was her's-Gajeels hand shot out against her mouth stopping her from saying Uno, and pushing her back against the door with a thud.

It all happened at once. "UNO!" Gajeel yelled, as the door at Juvia's back gave way and she tumbled back onto the floor, and stared at her friends shocked and upside down faces.

Then came the voice of the very last person she wanted to hear, "do you shout Uno when you come?" Natsu asked.

* * *

Yes the _surprise_ Gajeel had for Juvia was the deck of Uno cards. He had no pervy intentions. and I guess this is ooc for Juvia but I think Gajeel was on point. I really love gajeel x juvia...jujeel? Gajuvia? brotp and they're are always the most fun and easiest to write for me, and I feel like destroying eachother in something like Uno or Mariokart is something they would both totally do so yeah.

I do have a poll up on my page right now if you want to vote for what story prompt I'll do next!

Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

So I got a lot of reviews on the previous chapter telling me to make a chapter in someone elses POV, and a lot of you requested that it be either Levy or Gray, but I knew that if I did decide to do another chapter it would be in Mirajane's POV. so I hope you enjoy! And I do have a poll up on my page right now if you want to vote for what story prompt I'll do next!

* * *

"Fuck you Gajeel!"

"Argh! Juvia"

Mirajane was in deep shit. Mira was a good person. She really was. But this- _this_ was not supposed to happen.

"OH MY GOD, GAJEEL!" Juvia screamed from within the closet.

Mira sighed.

* * *

It didn't start out this way you know. It was just supposed to be a friendly game, and an excellent opportunity for Mirajane to wield her expert matchmaking skills. It was going great actually, well, up till a few minutes ago it was.

You see earlier that day, Levy, the tiny lovable bluenette of the group, had confided in Mira. She'd told Mira that she thought the hunky, and ever-smitten-with-Levy, Gajeel was interested in Juvia.

It was the most preposterous thing Mirajane had ever heard, and when she heard it she almost barfed on the petite bluenette.

Yes, it was easy to see how one could mistake Juvia and Gajeel as lovers. They were always around each other, and even lived together, but that's only because they were super tight _as friends._ Sure Gajeel did care about Juvia but it was more of a platonic, brotherly love, and vice versa for Juvia.

Gajeel was more obviously into Levy and besides Juvia is as obvious with her love for Gray as Trump is with his blatant racism, sexism, and idiotism, but only an oblivious book freak like her wouldn't notice.

But Levy was such a cute dork, that Mirajane couldn't resist, and so decided to help her see that Gajeel only liked her and her only.

That's what Mirajane had thought, but two minutes ago it had all gone downhill after she had successfully gotten two of her ships into the closet together, when everyone in the room heard Gajeel whisper, " _I've got a surprise for you_." And only a moment later they'd heard Juvia scream, "DID YOU JUST PULL THAT OUT OF YOUR PANTS?"

Most people would ask her; "If your goal was to get Gajeel and Levy together why didn't you just put the two of them into that closet together?" But if she'd done that then Levy would never speak to either of them again.

Because Levy is such a shy, insecure, and inexperienced book worm; and Gajeel was not such a neanderthal that would actually force Levy into anything, so even if she had put them in that closet together nothing would have happened, and the both would have come out with more awkward tension between them than before.

So instead Mira sent Juvia and Gajeel in together to show Levy that there was really nothing between them, and hopefully help her gain a little more confidence in herself.

But that turned out to be a disaster, as Mira could now see. More groaning sounds came from the closet, and she threw her head into her hands.

A glance around her circle of friends showed her that everyone's expressions were horrified except Gray's, Natsu's, and oddly Jellal's. Well Natsu was an ignorant weirdo who was _still_ chanting Lucy's name, and Jellal was just constantly in a state of Zen. It was pretty impressive actually.

She peeked at Gray again, and saw him do that thing with his jaw that boys always do when they're mad, and the thing that would totally make Juvia swoon if she wasn't in that damned closet _fucking Gajeel._

Levy had already left the room early on, under the pretense of having to go to the bathroom, but everyone knew what the actual reason was. And that only made Mira feel like a pile of cow shit.

Mirajane lowered her head and sighed. She was appalled, really. Who would've thought, honestly, that Juvia and Gajeel would actually have sex.

"Damn Juvia don't do this!" Mira heard Gajeel hiss.

Suddenly a thought occurred to her: Wait, have they done this before? Were Juvia and Gajeel fuckbuddies?

To her right Evergreen gasped, and Erza kept repeating, "oh my. Oh my. Oh my." Over and over. Bickslow was still smirking-was his face always like that? And Levy still hadn't returned from the bathroom, despite it being three minutes already, but Mira knew what was going on there, and that just made her feel so much worse.

"Gajeel!" Juvia screeched, "No, no, no, no don't do this please." She whimpered, and more thumping noises came from inside the closet. Then Gray cursed under his breath, stood up in a swift motion, and strode angrily into the kitchen, where she heard a loud bang a few seconds later.

She quickly looked over at Jellal, who still had his cool composure in place. Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with him? This was _his_ house that people were fucking, and crying, and breaking stuff in.

Gray and Levy both re-entered the room at the same time. Gray, with bloody knuckles and; Levy, with puffy eyes.

That was the last straw.

Mirajane stood up. At first she'd hesitate before going to open the closet door, in fear of everyone seeing both Gajeel and Juvia's naked bodies-that was something no one needed to see, but enough was enough. Didn't the two of them know how their actions would affect their friends? How could they be so inconsiderate?

But apparently it was the last straw for them too, because just then Gajeel yelled Uno and the closet door swung wide open, revealing two very startled, albeit clothed best-friends and a deck of Uno cards between them.

And then of course, at that very moment Natsu felt the need to ask, "Do you shout Uno when you come?"

But that wasn't even the worst part, because when she took a glance back at Jellal, she found the same emotionless expression on his face that he'd been employing for the past half hour, while all of this madness had been going on.

Yup it was official. Jellal had no soul.

* * *

Did ya like it? please review if you did. It doesn't have to be some full description of how great it was, just say that you liked it or something, because I do appreciate it if you favorite it or even follow the story, but I want to know what you really think about it, and it will motivate me to write a lot more too.

So recap: even if you're a guest or a passerby and you read this story and you like it or even if you didn't, and you want to give some constructive criticism GOAHEAD!


End file.
